If you can't leave them behind, take them along!

What changes immensely after being a mother is independence- we, mothers, think multiple times even before stepping out to the grocery store/ vegetable vendor/medical store with the kids and we start looking out for easier options- home delivery/ ask a friend to pick up what you need/ online shopping and so on. While these are great options for mothers, today I will share with you how these tasks can be turned interesting and how these can be fun learning experiences for you toddlers! Especially if you are a mother with limited/ no help, I am sure you will find this useful..

As a new mother of twins, and being in a nuclear set up, I started feeling trapped, as the whole day (read it as day and night) would be spent in feeding, changing, bathing my twins, taking them out and putting them to sleep. That is when I decided to cut out dependencies, stop feeling helpless and grow stronger et happier..

What did I do: 
To start with, I decided to step out of the house at least once a week with the babies and as my confidence started building up, I slowly increased the frequency. Now, at 2.5 years, I take them out at least thrice a week alone and we are enjoying this totally. Weekends I get complete support from my husband and I get some 'me' time' too :) Its all about taking those baby steps and gearing up to be independent and empowered!

Choosing the place:

• the place should not be heavily crowded at the same time should not be deserted
• the place should be within a certain radius from your house, so that its easy and quick to commute with the baby. I usually limit my span to 10 km.
• ensure the place has good connectivity in case you are using public transport/ cabs
• ensure the place is kid friendly

Prepare and plan in advance:

• Start with short span trips of say 1 hour and as you get comfortable increase the duration
• Choose a time to step out when the baby is generally in a happy and playful mood (I usually step out around 11 am and get back before 2 pm)
• Schedule your outing such that you can be in before the baby's sleep time, so that you get some rest too
• Keep a bag packed for these trips, this will save a lot of time. But please keep it light
• What goes in my bag?- couple of diapers (pants post they were potty trained), water bottle, one snack box with some easy to eat healthy options, couple of toys, a ring sling and a soft structured carrier to keep my hands free when they are in mo mood to walk, my wallet.
• Let your partner know when and where you would be going and your mode of travel too

Places we usually visit: These are places apart from the play areas/ parks/ gardens/ zoo which parents anyways take their kids to. No matter how 'routine'/ 'boring' these may sound to others, taking my kids alone to these places and spending time itself gives me a great sense of accomplishment and a feeling of independence that 'I can do it' and 'I am not dependent on anyone for my basic needs'! You can easily spend upto 2/3 hours at these places suggested including commute:

1. Grocery Store: I note down my weekly grocery needs, select the items and ask them to deliver it at time convenient to me. I place my kids in the shopping trolley at times when they get tired. Kids learn alot in terms of associating things with their names, utility, basic classification techniques.  A word of caution: Toddlers start demanding their favourite stuff and will start throwing tantrums- you need to be geared up to handle this. I usually tell them you will get any one item of your choice and it will be opened once we reach home and let them pick it - all happy!

2. Vegetable store: Again, I plan my weekly needs and we walk down to the shop nearby. Let kids pick, touch, feel and help you at the store, its a great experience for them too. They learn to associate names with the respective fruits/ vegetables. After selecting the items, I ask them to deliver it to my house.

3. Fire Station: My son is very fond of vehicles, luckily we have a fire station closeby. I take my kids occasionally to the fire station and the joy on their face on seeing the shiny fire trucks is beyond words! 

4. A cosy cafe/ restaurant: Choose a quite little cafe where you can enjoy some french fries/ waffles or your favourite food together (i will write on eating out with kids in a separate post) Take along a drawing book and colours, draw the food items and ask them to identify, you can also let them scribble if you wish to enjoy that coffee in peace :)

5. Shopping malls: No I don't really shop here ;) I usually just take them around, may be grab an ice cream/ have some chicken popcorn at KFC take them on the escalators and so on..

6. Temple: I am not a very religious person, but I do take kids to the temple. Its mainly the environment I love- peaceful, serene, clean and holy. Kids enjoy the 'Aarti' and the prasad too ;)

7. Bus ride: Is your kid crazy for 'Wheels on the bus go round and round'? Then you have to do this! Select a route which is not so crowded when you plan to travel. Chalk out a short route of say 5 stops. And rest assured the kids would love the ride!

Early Learning: Kids are excellent observers and they grasp very fast. Till the time they are not speaking, they try to soak in as much possible and once they start talking you will be surprised how well they can relate to the things and places you have been taking them to! Few suggestions to make these trips more fruitful in terms of early learning:

1. Expose your kids to lot of baby books

2. Carry a relevant book when you are stepping out- for example when going to the mall we carry with us 'Naisha goes to the Mall' book from the Naisha series (you can order your set from Jasmine Bheda)

3. If you are visiting a place that has any animals around- carry those small toy animals

4.You can carry play dough to the cafes and ask kids to shape it like a burger/ plate and so on

5. Carry the relevant toy vehicles. For example hand over a small toy bus to your kid if you are planning for a bus ride

6. Talk about the place you would be visiting a day or two in advance- describe it, importance of the place, what can they see there, what would you do there etc

Hope this was helpful! On this note, if you are in a nuclear set up, new mother, moms who work from home, stay at home mothers, have limited or no help or rather anyone who feels you have lost your independence after becoming a mother, please don't feel confined and step out of the house, not because you don't have other easy options- but to feel good, to boost your confidence, to expose kids to different places, to help them learn faster! You can also invite other moms from your locality and plan such trips together! Do share your experiences and what makes you feel good and independent! Happy parenting :)

The above suggestions/ external references are not influenced in any way and are completely based on my personal experiences/ liking