Skip to main content

The 6 annoying questions..

Relationships.... well they ain't simple and straightforward! We love our people, we love their company. We know, we acknowledge- deep down under there is only one sentiment of well being and love but many times we encounter statements, questions which cross the boundaries/ go overboard and it  hurts you to the core!

A woman is bombarded with such statements especially after she gets married and after the kids it just is a different story altogether! I have tried to compile top 6 such statements/ questions which most of us as women/ mothers would have come across (at least in India)!

1. Its been a year you guys are married, we are waiting for our grand children!
Well, do we get married only to have children? Marriage is having fun together, enjoying each other's company, exploring places, understanding each other. Is there is a right time to have children? absolutely no, as this decision is no depends on the number of years you guys are in a relationship, but on how well prepared you are, are you financially stable, how good is your support system and so on! So please don't pester and pressurise the couple with such questions, let the couple take an informed decision, be patient guys!



2. The baby seems to be hungry, lets us top feed the baby..
 Possible that people close to you don't have the right information, possible the people close to you didn't have a very good experience with breastfeeding themselves, possible the people close to you have a lot of misconceptions and need to get their myths cleared! Already a new mom is going through a lot, and these advises literally make the mother doubt herself when actually there is no reason to do so! Breastfeeding is a function of demand and supply, a mother's body is beautifully designed to meet the demands of the baby! So new mothers, please don't doubt your capabilities, take informed decisions based on your research and doctor's advice, meet a lactation consultant if need be.



3.  You plan to work after baby too! that's not a very good idea..
Please let the mother decide what she wants to do after baby. And for God's sake don't judge her for her decision, after all she is a mother and she knows how to prioritise and plan things. Let her decide if she wants to work outside the home, work from home, or be a stay at home mom. If you really are concerned, help her out by contributing in some way or the other than criticising her decision!


4. My grandchild looks so lean an petite! Are you not feeding him well?
This is the most annoying one and something that really hurts the mother- these kind of statements fuel the wrong ideas of force feeding/ distraction feeding and so on. If you really do your research around baby nutrition and eating patterns in kids, you will notice, emphasis is always on- let the child decide how much he wants to eat and how frequently. Each living being is gifted with the basic instinct of hunger and related communication and so are the human babies! Our job as caregivers is to provide healthy food options till they feel like eating,  offer frequently if need be! In fact baby led weaning is a beautiful concept built on these lines. Don't get burdened by the comments passed by others, if you baby is happy and healthy, meeting the milestones more or less on time, relax and keep going :) People will always find something to criticise, whether your kid is lean, chubby, tall or short :p



5. You guys are starving, don't you cook fresh meal each time?
No, because unlike your generation, we don't have ten people available at home to help us out. We have to maintain our sanity, take good care of the baby, take care of ourselves and keep the house running well too! That's a lot of work for the four hands available. Don't feel bad if you are cutting on the number of dishes you prepare per meal, if you are having cereal for your breakfast instead of the pre baby sumptuous spread, if you are cooking in bathes and freezing some for subsequent meals, if you are ordering a couple of dishes you are craving for. As long as the food is nutritious, cooked in hygienic conditions enjoy your meals as per your convenience!


6. Will you be menstruating that time? Oh no please take pills, its an important festival!
No I will not. Because that is an indicator that my body is functioning well, that I am healthy! The ability to have kids is God'd gift and menstruation is a part of the whole function. If you are not comfortable with my menstruating body being present with you for the celebrations, please excuse yourself or let me celebrate my way! While today we see mot of the educated people craving for organic, natural food products, sadly we see some of them treating menstruating women differently! Surprising, sad yet true. Please stand for yourself, and take a decision if YOU believe it to be right and after consulting your doctor.


Cheers to womanhood, cheers to motherhood!

Comments

  1. haha.. good one prachi. and seriously this chums and festivals really irritate me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously. one bad experience and i switched to cups..

      Delete
  2. I hated it when people would ask us when we were going to have children or make "jokes" about wanting grandchildren in front of us

    ReplyDelete
  3. I never understand how once married sudenly your personal relationship becomes public property and everyone suddenly starts questioning when you will be having a baby, which really is the most personal of matters

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha its too funny questions dear but its true also. And we have to answer these meaningless question everytime😜. Like your post it too interesting and close to the reality

    ReplyDelete
  5. I feel like I've heard most of these before-usually more than once! Why do people always feel the need to weigh in on other people's choices?!?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Parents sometimes... My mom is always asking Marie wont speak any word? She is just two and shes already speaking a lot of words.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are so right! These are the most annoying questions I've ever heard!

    Belle | www.OneAwesomeMomma.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. #3 was right on point even tho I've heard all of these questions at some point in time!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol! These are some very uncomfortable questions, luckily for me, I've not been asked any of these!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rajasthan Roadtrip 2023: All those things that helped

 I had just finished my exam and already was facing severe withdrawal symptoms! Tejas luckily had not so tight work schedule (he was still working on the go). Kids unschooling had the flexibility to plan their days. We thought this would be just the right time for a roadtrip!  At this point, we all reflected- what does each one of us seek from this adventure? It varied from fun to seeing new places, change, being together, etc.  And like always we worked as a team rather than child vs. parents, to help meet everyone's needs. Where to?  Rajasthan, a state none of us had explored earlier. We had already heard a lot of good things about the state from friends and family. And decided- "We will explore Rajasthan".  How: Yes, we did explore other modes of travel like train and flight, but then choosing these meant losing the flexibility we would get in our own vehicle. At the same time, car travel that far would translate to a longer duration as well. For us the pros of a roadt

Mind the mind! My Vipassana experience..

 It was pure curiosity that nudged me to sign up for the Vipassana meditation course. Had heard a lot of good things about it from acquaintances and decided to take the step!  But there are so many centers! Which one to choose? That's when I came across  Saee Bapat 's recommendation for the Tiruvannamalai Vipassana Center . And I decided to apply here.  Frankly, near and dear ones had a lot of reservations about this course, and rightly so, as we had very little information about it. Questions came up like: - It is religious? - You will be a changed person - These things are to be done during old age - Householders cannot sustain themselves here - What if something bad happens? Talking, phone access is not allowed even. But I am glad I listened to my heart and went ahead, this was one of the best things I have gifted myself! Now here's a short day-wise recollection of how the 10 days unfolded for me: Day 0: Arrived at the center just in time. The female coordinator told me

Snugbub Babywearing 101- Your Guide to baby slings, ergonomic carriers

Introduction This is a story of a typical woman who is expecting a child- abundant sleep (yes as per the concept of relativity), eating whatever and whenever she desires, lots and lots of shopping, catching up with friends, movies, maternity shoots, super supportive family members…… and then the day arrives when the much awaited baby(ies) pops out!! A moment of joy- absolutely! But what happens to the mother? Lack of rest, lack of sleep, constant pressure of ‘feeding right – feeding enough’, recovering physically, too many things to sort out which none of the pre natal classes taught her! And this is the phase when babywearing could become her best friend! So mums/ primary caregivers lets learn more how to make this happen- What is babywearing? Babywearing (BW) is keeping the baby close you, with the help of the modern BW carriers or a sadi or sturdy cotton dupatta. Here you will come across two terms- ergonomic carriers/ non ergonomic carriers. Ergonomic carriers are those,