The 6 annoying questions..

Relationships.... well they ain't simple and straightforward! We love our people, we love their company. We know, we acknowledge- deep down under there is only one sentiment of well being and love but many times we encounter statements, questions which cross the boundaries/ go overboard and it  hurts you to the core!

A woman is bombarded with such statements especially after she gets married and after the kids it just is a different story altogether! I have tried to compile top 6 such statements/ questions which most of us as women/ mothers would have come across (at least in India)!

1. Its been a year you guys are married, we are waiting for our grand children!
Well, do we get married only to have children? Marriage is having fun together, enjoying each other's company, exploring places, understanding each other. Is there is a right time to have children? absolutely no, as this decision is no depends on the number of years you guys are in a relationship, but on how well prepared you are, are you financially stable, how good is your support system and so on! So please don't pester and pressurise the couple with such questions, let the couple take an informed decision, be patient guys!



2. The baby seems to be hungry, lets us top feed the baby..
 Possible that people close to you don't have the right information, possible the people close to you didn't have a very good experience with breastfeeding themselves, possible the people close to you have a lot of misconceptions and need to get their myths cleared! Already a new mom is going through a lot, and these advises literally make the mother doubt herself when actually there is no reason to do so! Breastfeeding is a function of demand and supply, a mother's body is beautifully designed to meet the demands of the baby! So new mothers, please don't doubt your capabilities, take informed decisions based on your research and doctor's advice, meet a lactation consultant if need be.

3.  You plan to work after baby too! that's not a very good idea..
Please let the mother decide what she wants to do after baby. And for God's sake don't judge her for her decision, after all she is a mother and she knows how to prioritise and plan things. Let her decide if she wants to work outside the home, work from home, or be a stay at home mom. If you really are concerned, help her out by contributing in some way or the other than criticising her decision!


4. My grandchild looks so lean an petite! Are you not feeding him well?
This is the most annoying one and something that really hurts the mother- these kind of statements fuel the wrong ideas of force feeding/ distraction feeding and so on. If you really do your research around baby nutrition and eating patterns in kids, you will notice, emphasis is always on- let the child decide how much he wants to eat and how frequently. Each living being is gifted with the basic instinct of hunger and related communication and so are the human babies! Our job as caregivers is to provide healthy food options till they feel like eating,  offer frequently if need be! In fact baby led weaning is a beautiful concept built on these lines. Don't get burdened by the comments passed by others, if you baby is happy and healthy, meeting the milestones more or less on time, relax and keep going :) People will always find something to criticise, whether your kid is lean, chubby, tall or short :p



5. You guys are starving, don't you cook fresh meal each time?
No, because unlike your generation, we don't have ten people available at home to help us out. We have to maintain our sanity, take good care of the baby, take care of ourselves and keep the house running well too! That's a lot of work for the four hands available. Don't feel bad if you are cutting on the number of dishes you prepare per meal, if you are having cereal for your breakfast instead of the pre baby sumptuous spread, if you are cooking in bathes and freezing some for subsequent meals, if you are ordering a couple of dishes you are craving for. As long as the food is nutritious, cooked in hygienic conditions enjoy your meals as per your convenience!


6. Will you be menstruating that time? Oh no please take pills, its an important festival!
No I will not. Because that is an indicator that my body is functioning well, that I am healthy! The ability to have kids is God'd gift and menstruation is a part of the whole function. If you are not comfortable with my menstruating body being present with you for the celebrations, please excuse yourself or let me celebrate my way! While today we see mot of the educated people craving for organic, natural food products, sadly we see some of them treating menstruating women differently! Surprising, sad yet true. Please stand for yourself, and take a decision if YOU believe it to be right and after consulting your doctor.

Cheers to womanhood, cheers to motherhood!